I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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