i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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