girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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