do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
