Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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