the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize