question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
