it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
