Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
