I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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