You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
