He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
