Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize