is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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