i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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