Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He did a backflip because drugs
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