so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
