They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
