I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
