Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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