I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
