And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
