Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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