She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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