Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm just crazy horny about you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
