sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
