it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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