I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
