:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
