I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
