hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
