the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We smell like vodka and hangover
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