theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
