I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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