Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize