we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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