Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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