when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dear god my vagina.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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