You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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