Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
