I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
