you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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