I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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