I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
