the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
