so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Randomize
