Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
