i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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