bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
