Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
