There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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