i permit you to call me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
where are my eyebrows?
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