just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
