he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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