The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
