We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
