After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
