just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize