it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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