I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize