So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
