My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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