I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
