I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Mom said you looked used
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
