Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
