Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize