I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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