Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
