Can Purell be used as lube?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
