he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
