she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize